


Winter's Inferno

by Passion_fruit



Series: Morphine Surturdottir [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Elizabeth Olsen who?, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fire Demon, Flashbacks, Fluff, Interracial Relationship, Jewish Wanda Maximoff, Lightning Generation, Mila Kunis is my Wanda fancast, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:24:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Passion_fruit/pseuds/Passion_fruit
Summary: Sequel to Fire and DesireMorphine and Loki have separated, causing Morphine to live a quiet life on Alfheim with her mother. Feeling like she can finally move on from her estranged husband and go back to her regular life, she goes back to Midgard, only to find out that her friends have fallen out. And that she has more in common with Bucky Barnes than she wants know.





	1. Hopefully

The laughing, chattering, and glasses clinking could be heard throughout Tony's place. Everyone seemed to be getting along, despite the feud that took place a year ago. Morphine sat at the bar looking around, there was a slight tension with her group of peers as they tossed fake smiles back and forth. She really missed when things weren't so awkward, she had been on Alfheim with her mother the year Steve and Tony's bitch fit took place, and she would've smacked everyone involved if she could. The Sokovia Accords, that was what this was all about.

Coming back to Earth, she met some new faces like Sam, Vision, T'challa, Wanda, Scott, Sharon, Peter, and of course, Bucky. She was very reluctant to meet new people, as it took her a while to get comfortable with the rest of her friends. With Steve, she was very comfortable with him. She liked them though, she was just tired of seeing them force conversations and fake their smiles. They were Earth's mightiest heroes, the least they could do is be real with each other. Maybe she could talk to Steve and Tony, and get them to talk. She watched as Steve was talking to Sharon, Natasha, and Bucky, while Tony was on the other side of the room with T'challa and Rhodey. Clint and his wife were having an animated conversation with Scott and his friends, while Wanda and Vision were off in a corner being cozy. Shaking her head, she took a sip of her drink that was now watered down. She missed Thor and Loki, and wondered where Bruce had gone.

"Hey, girl," she heard to the right of her. Sam had sat beside her, smiling his wide-toothed grin.

"What's up, Sam?" she asked, taking another sip of her drink.

"Nothing, just wondering why my favorite spitfire was sitting over here all alone." He pandered. Morphine smirked, "Isn't it obvious? I'm minding my business."

Sam chuckled, "Don't be cold, pun intended. I mean, don't you at least want to talk to someone...besides me." He suggested.

Morphine grimaced, "Nah." She and Sam laughed for a bit, before Steve walked over to them. Morphine's smile dropped. It wasn't that she didn't like Steve anymore, she loved him as friend despite having a short fling with him. The whole ordeal with him and Tony left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Hey, Morphine." He said, she gave him a tight lipped smile.

"Steve." She said with a nod.

"Listen, can we talk in private?" He asked. Sam took that as his cue to leave. Morphine took another sip of her of her drink, as Steve looked down and scratched the back of his neck. "It's been awhile since we've talked. I like your hair, black suits you, though the blue was-,"

"Steve." She cut him off. "What do you want to talk about?" She figured it was best to just get it over with, rather than have awkward small talk.

"Are we okay? You've been really distant, more distant than usual." He pandered.

"Steve, do you want the honest truth?" She asked him. He really wanted to know if they were still on a friendly basis. He knew that things were rocky between he and Tony, things were starting to get rocky with Morphine. Was it because of He and Tony's disagreement? Was it because he brought Sharon, and she still had feelings for him? He noticed she was alone, and not with Loki.

"Here's the truth, Steve, you and Tony are being so petty and childish. You need to talk it out face-to-face instead of sending Tony a passive aggressive letter in the mail. Really Steve?" She sneered.

"Morph, it's more to it than that. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to mend me and Tony's friendship." Steve said.

"You watched Tony's parents - who you were close to by the way - be murdered by your friend over there," she said pointing to Bucky, who was glancing at the two of them. Morphine decided to calm herself down, she had been drinking a lot, and didn't want to make a scene. "Look, just talk to him as a friend, and not as Captain America."

Steve nodded, "You know I only wanted what was best for him, I wanted what was best for all of us." Morphine was quiet, as she took another sip of her drink. "I'll talk to him." He said before patting her shoulder gently, Morphine smiled as he walked away. Hopefully, things would go back to how they were. She missed when they all worked together like a close-knit family that cared about each other. Shaking her head to rid her of those thoughts, she watched as Steve walked towards Tony, they exchanged a few words, and then went somewhere private. Morphine smiled, things were going good so far.

She then heard a throat being cleared, turning towards the person, it was Bucky. She raised her eyebrow as if to question his presence. "Would you make me a drink?" he asked. Morphine said nothing as she got up from her seat, and went behind the bar.

"What's your poison?" she asked.

"Whiskey." he said. She got him a glass, and poured the possibly expensive whiskey. Sliding the glass to him, she propped her elbows on the bar - watching him drink. She looked him over as he drank, taking him in. His hair was pulled into a bun at the nape of his neck, metal arm hidden inside his long-sleeve button down. His gaze swept towards her, and their gazes met.

Bucky felt like he's seen Morphine before, his memory was still fuzzy, but the nightmares and memories were still coming back to him. Where had he seen her from?


	2. Chapter 2

January 5, 1992

Waking up to the sounds of machines beeping and whirring, Morphine, known as Martha at this time, tried to sit up. She was strapped to a hospital-like bed, pulling at the straps only made them tighten around her arms and legs.

The room was the opposite of a hospital, it was dark and looked like something out of a mad scientist movie. A man in a white lab coat walked towards her speaking Russian, he held a syringe in his hand causing Martha to panic. She tugged and pulled at the straps to set her free with all her might, once she broke herself out of the strapped bed, she took the doctor by his throat, and flung him across the room. Jumping off the bed, she scrambled to find an exit. She flung different doors open until it led her to her escape. Running down a long dark hall with a few lights illuminating the space, Martha could hear yelling and footsteps coming behind her. She lit her fist aflame, punching a steel door open, she made her way into room with five people floating in liquid-filled glass cases.

Covering her mouth, appalled at the sight. "What the hell is this place?" she mumbled to herself.

"Vykhodite, vykhodite, malyshka. (Come out, come out, little girl.)" she heard a deep voice say in the hall. Looking around for another escape plan, she saw one window at the end of the room. Dashing towards it, she was soon disappointed to find out that it had bars preventing her from jumping out the window. She punched the window, cracking it, and pulling at the bars with flamed hands. This caused them to melt as she pulled at them. Before she could go out the window, a gunshot sounded off and a bullet flew past her head. Turning rapidly, she was standing off with the man that dragged her to this hellhole. Standing tall and alert, the gun gripped in his hand tightly as he glared at her. His gaze was locked and loaded on her, much like his gun. His brown hair stopping at his shoulders, the all black tactical suit blended in with the the darkness of the room. His mouth and nose covered with a black mask, and she could only see his cold eyes and cybernetic arm.

Blue flames surrounded her fists, she threw her flames at him. He dodged the flying flames, narrowing his eyes as she had jumped out the window. "Soldat!" A Hydra commander and the doctor who was operating on Martha ran up to him.

"Prinesi yeye i verni yeye v zhivykh! (Get her, and bring her back alive!)" Complying to the orders, he marched towards the window, and jumped out. Landing into a somersault in the snowy tundra, he scanned the area, doing a 360. He caught sight of a blue glow trudging further north up the woods. Steathly, he moved quickly. He knew the girl was fast and strong, she was a challenge before, he didn't know if she would overpower him this time. All he knew was that he needed to get the mission done, or he would punished severely.

He locked his gaze on the girl, as she stumbled barefoot in the dirty hospital gown, her hand was still lit up to make her way through the woods. Pulling out his skorpion machine gun, he fired off rounds of shots at her. Martha ducked and dodged the bullets, firing off her flames at him. When he shot back at her, a bullet grazed her side. Clutching at the wound, she hissed in pain. The cold was weakening her, and the wound would make it a quick process.

"Damn it," she hissed. She could burn the wound, but she needed to get out of there fast. Her energy was getting low. The soldier was making his way to her, gun in hand, and he looked like he was ready to pull the trigger.

Martha started to run, but was pulled back hard by her hair. The soldier gripped her by the throat, roughly grabbing her as she thrashed about. She clenched her fist tightly, letting it be engulfed in flames as she punched him hard. He let go, falling back, only to roll backwards and getting to his feet quickly.

"Stay back!" she told him, holding up her flamed hand. The soldier ignored her as he launched at her, Martha's whole body engulfed in flames, making the soldier stop in his tracks. Her eyes were blackened, horns came out of her head, and strange markings appeared on her body. He held his gun up, ready to shoot; she kicked him, flinging his body against a tree.

Running swiftly, her breathing was harsh and quick, the flames were starting to go out as she fell to the ground with a hard thud. She was then kicked on her back, looking up at the soldier. She tried to crawl backwards away from him, he crouched down, holding her body still with his knee.

"Please," she begged. "What do you people want from me?"

He stared at her with a blank expression before punching her unconscious.

Martha's vision was blurry as she looked around to see men walking around her, muttering in Russian. She couldn't move her body or her head this time.

"Did you think you could run from us, Siniy Ad (Blue Inferno)?" She heard a man say in his thick accent, he caressed her bloodied and bruised face as he taunted her. "Wh-why?" She asked weakly.

No one answered her as they flipped a switch, sending volts of electricity into her head. She screamed in pain and agony as she gripped the arms of the chair she was strapped in. The last thing she saw was the soldier standing in the shadows, watching her before everything went black.

Bucky had seen her before, the memories of all the people he'd hurt and killed were still coming back to him. He thought being put back under cryostasis would make it all go away, thought it'd fix him. But it didn't. When he first met Morphine, it was only in passing. She walked past him without glance, not even a quick look at his arm. Why was he remembering this now?

"Bucky?" Morphine called out to him, he shook the thoughts out of his head, looking up at her and blinking rapidly.

"Calm down," she simply said. "You have a death grip on that glass." she told him as he relaxed.

"What's on your mind?" she asked.

Downing the rest of his drink before he answered, "Don't wanna talk about it." She only shrugged in response. "That's fine." She said while pouring herself another drink.

She said while pouring herself another drink


	3. Forgiveness pt. 1

Bucky watched Morphine silently as she watched everyone else. "I don't really know you well enough like I know everyone else. You're sort of a mystery." He told her. He always had his guard up with everyone, but Steve made him feel comfortable enough to engage in conversations, and put his input in. He didn't want anyone to walk on eggshells around him, especially remembering him going Winter Soldier on some of them. To him, it seemed like all was forgiven - well except from Tony and Morphine. He was surprised that he and Sam got along fine, Sam made him laugh and see the bright side of things when he felt depressed.

"That's the plan, Buck." She said without sparing him a glance.

"If it's because of the fi-,"

"Bucky...please. I don't want to cause a scene with this." She stopped him. 

"Steve said you could be distant towards us, and I figured it was because of that fight. I just want to say that I had no intentions to hurt anyone or cause a rift between anyone." He told her sincerely.

"You don't have to convince me, I'm not looking for an apology." She said with a shrug. "It's Tony that needs the apology; from you and Steve."

Bucky nodded, taking it into consideration. Holding his glass up for a refill, she took the hint, and poured more whiskey into his glass. They sat in an awkward silence, both glancing at the other, and sipping their drinks.

Morphine noticed Tony and Steve finally coming back to the party, both looking nonchalant. She wondered if they were on good terms, or at least talking to each other from now on. "Look," she said pointing her thumb at the two men. "Do you think they're all good now?" Her hand landed on his metal arm, Bucky looked past her, remembering something from the past.

His metal arm whirred and flexed as his hand gripped her throat, her hand went to his arm, trying to heat it up and burn him. Her other hand went to his neck, trying to pry it off as his grip got tighter. The look on his face was deadly as his weight had her pinned to the ground.

He flinched from her touch, breathing heavily. "Bucky?" She said, making sure she didn't overstep her boundaries. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, um, I need to talk to Steve. Sorry." He said, getting up and walking towards his best friend. Bucky approached Steve, walking through the party without looking back at Morphine. Tony, who was still standing beside Steve, rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Something wrong, Buck?" Steve asked.

Bucky debated with himself if should tell Steve, he didn't want secrets between them. "Morphine," he muttered.

Steve raised an eyebrow, "What about Morphine?"

"We have a past."

February 29, 1992

Bucky had found Martha, The Blue Inferno, standing outside of a rundown hotel. She had run away so many times, and Hydra would brainwash him and send him to find her again. They had tracked her down to that hotel in Long Island. He had shot into her room, and threw a grenade causing her to jump out as it exploded. The fire surrounding the room changed from a firey red to an intense blue as Martha landed on her hands and knees looking up at him with black eyes. His orders were to break her, show her that Hydra played no games when it came to their soldiers. Once he brought her back they both would undergo a brainwash. Eyeing Martha down as she stood in a fighting position, fists engulfed in blue flames, she gave him a fierce stare as he held his machine gun tightly.

 

 

Running towards him with full speed and flamed fists, she attacked first 

Running towards him with full speed and flamed fists, she attacked first. Striking him with her right and uppercutting with her left, making him stumble back but recovering by hitting her with the butt of his gun. She grabbed the gun, heating it up with her hand, making him drop it. 

Getting frustrated, he pulled his knife out, swinging his arm with full force. He sliced her arm as she was blocking him, hissing in pain and blast fire at him in retaliation. Bucky propelled backwards, landing on his back. She smirked, launching herself onto him with a flamed fist ready to strike him. He blocked her fist with his metal arm, and pulled a pistol out of its holster with the other. Quickly pointing it to her head, he shot her, causing her to gasp. Black blood oozed from the center of her head, dripping down to her face. He watched her jump to her feet, running down the road in full speed. He could've jumped on his motorcycle to chase after her, but the shock broke through his stoic barrier. Realization had sunk in, he knew that Hydra was getting into something otherworldly. 

Going back to the Hydra base, the commander frowned. "Soldier, where is the Blue Inferno?"

"The girl got away." He told him. 

The commander sighed, "Take him, and start over."

Bucky was grabbed and strapped to the chair, clenching his jaw and fists as his brain was scrambled again.

 

"So I had a word with Steve." Tony said to Morphine. She nodded, urging him to go on. "Basically he 'apologized', and wants to get lunch."

"Why'd you put quotations around 'apologize'?" she asked.

"Because it was basically, 'Well, I'm sorry your parents were murdered by my friend, but let's get lunch and catch up'." Tony said.

"Did he really say it like that?" Morphine asked.

"Well, no, but I'm paraphrasing." Morphine shook her head.

"This has to stop." she told him, "Stay here, I'll be right back." She got out of her seat, going up to Steve and Bucky, who were sitting on a couch.

"You two, come with me." They stopped talking to each to look up at her, "Now!" she growled, getting some of the Avengers' attention, and they moved out of her way as she led them back to the bar. Tony scoffed at the sight of Bucky, who had a look of indifference.

"Sit," she told them. Like children, they did as she said. "Bucky, did you ever apologize to Tony?"

"No, but I was brainwa-,"

"Apologize." She said sternly.

Bucky turned to Tony, "I'm sorry for killing your parents, we know Hydra made me do it, but seeing me do it hurt you a lot." Tony listened, and reluctantly nodded his head; accepting the apology.

"Now if we can move on, and not feel like an awkward family, that would be nice right about now." Morphine said with her hands on her hip. "Now kiss and makeup before I slap you all, and my hand will be covered in fire."

"Damn." Bucky muttered under his breath.

"You didn't have to treat us like kids though." Tony said with a pout. Morphine scoffed and laughed.

"Yeah, we could've hashed this out like adults." Steve cut in. 

Morphine laughed, shaking her head. "You guys are funny. 'Hash things out like adults'." Bucky chuckled as well. Steve nudged him.

"I mean, she's not wrong, Captain Start-A-Fight-In-An-Alley 

"I mean, she's not wrong, Captain Start-A-Fight-In-An-Alley." Bucky replied with a smirk towards Steve.


	4. Forgiveness pt. 2

Tossing and turning in bed with flashes and glimpses of the past, Bucky couldn't sleep. A light sheen a sweat covered his skin as he lay on Steve's couch with a blanket barely covering his body. His nightmares had gotten slightly worse when Steve had brought him back from Wakanda , thinking a year was enough time for him to heal. When he had met Morphine, the familiarity had set off something in him, and at first he couldn't place where he had seen her from. What was once a faceless woman being tortured and tormented by HYDRA, was now Morphine's face screwed up in pain - screaming to be let out- and him complying to orders to break her of all her resilience.

Bucky wouldn't be getting anymore sleep after that, getting into a sitting position. He couldn't deal with it, he had to see her. Had to talk to her.

"Fuck it," he mumbled, putting something on to leave the house. He heard Steve's snores before he left, making sure he was still sleeping.

 

Knock, knock, knock!

Morphine heard the knocking on her door, grabbing her phone, it was 3:45 AM. Glaring at the time on her phone, she didn't know who was knocking at her door at this time, but she decided ignoring it and getting her sleep. Laying her head back on her pillow and closing her eyes, she thought the person had gave up and left. Then she heard the knocking again.

Knock, knock, knock!

Sighing, she threw the covers off of her, and stomping towards the door. Swinging it open, it revealed Bucky. He was wearing a hat, hoodie, and sweatpants, bags were under his eyes, and he looked so tired.

"Bucky, what's going on?" She asked him. 

"Can I come in and talk to you?" He asked. "If you- you don't want to that's fine."

Sighing, "No, come in." She opened the door wider as he trudged into her apartment. "Um, do you know what time it is?" she asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I just really need to get some things off my chest." He told her. 

"Why not talk to Steve, you're staying with him, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, but this is something that affects you." He said.

"Me?" she asked with wide eyes. "What about me?"

"Do you remember ever encountering me in the past?" He asked.

Confused, she shook her head, no. "I don't-," she paused, furrowing her brow.

"HYDRA, they sent me to find you. I remembered taking you to them, they wanted me to hurt you, then they tortured you, brainwashed you many times 'cause you kept running away. I remember having to find you each time, we'd both fight, but I'd bring you back to that hellhole. They wanted to use you as a weapon. I remember everything, and the nightmares...they've gotten worse." Morphine stared at him in disbelief. They had fought many times, and he take her to get beat, experimented on, and tortured. She was silent as she processed what he said, then remembering something, she got up and dashed to her room.

Bucky sat there, staring at her as she left the room. She then came back with a stack of papers, and dropped them on her coffee table.

"Nick sent me these when I came back, told me he had salvaged my files. HYDRA, I remember seeing that word on one of these papers." She mumbled as she looked through the papers as he watched her silently.

There was a medical document from the hospital that she was in, in the nineties. She was in for a gunshot wound to the head, and was deemed unconscious for a year. 

"You shot me in the head." She said, he nodded even though it wasn't a question. "Now I know why I don't remember my life past '93." She looked through more papers, shaking her head.

"I- I'm sorry, you may not wanna hear that and it might be too little too late, but I really am." He told her. 

"I know." She gave him a look of sympathy. "It wasn't your fault, we all had those moments, and we learn to move on from them." She said, recalling the times when she couldn't control her powers and didn't know her full strength, killing people in the process. 

"Hey, I've got an idea," she started, he perked up like a puppy with its head tilted. "How 'bout we hang out, watch a movie and grab some food tomorrow. That way we can get to know each other." He nodded at her suggestion. 

"Yeah, sounds like a plan." He said. They both smiled awkwardly when morphine's phone lit up and rang. 

"Shit, it's Steve!" She said before answering. "Hello?"

"Morphine, sorry to wake you up, but-,"

"No need to send out a search party, Bucky's at my place." She said, cutting him off. 

 

"What is he doing at your place?" He asked in an accusatory way. "Morphine?"

"Look, just come over. He's waiting for you."

"Okay, I'm on my way." he hung up without a goodbye.

"Fucking Rogers." She muttered. "Steve is coming."

"Oh, okay. What time should I pick you up tomorrow?" He asked.

"Hmm," she thought, "I think I should pick you up, and we'll leave about 2 maybe. I'll check movie times or something." The two sat and talked while they waited on Steve. They didn't want to dwell on their past with HYDRA, and decided to start anew.

In the middle of their discussion, a knock was at the door, Morphine guessed it was Steve. Going up to answer, he was standing there with a small smile.

"Hey, I was worried sick." He started.

"He's fine, just wanted to talk." She told him.

"He could've talked to me." Steve said. They spoke as if Bucky was their child sitting in the room while having an argument.

"Um, I'm right here. I can speak for myself." He said to the two.

"Well by all means, speak." Morphine said. Steve and Morphine watched him expectantly. 

"Jesus Christ." He muttered under his breath. "I'll see you tomorrow, Morphine." He walked past them, going out the door, and walking down the hall. Steve watched him leave, then turned to Morphine.

"Uh, what went down with you two?" He asked.

"Nothing, why?" She counter asked.

"Well, it's just..." He trailed off. "Is there something going on between you two?"

"What?" Morphine was shocked he even asked that. She didn't see Bucky in that way, he was cute, but she wasn't over Loki.

"I mean, you come back alone, and my guess is that things didn't work out with Loki. So, are you interested in Bucky?" He asked her.

She looked at him shocked with wide eyes, "You really don't know, huh?" She commended Tony for not spilling why she and Loki weren't together anymore. Steve and Nat were gone when it all happened, and she really needed someone. Tony was there, along with Pepper and Rhodes. Nick was MIA for some reason, and it all just fucked her up mentally and emotionally.

"I don't know what?" Steve asked. 

She waved her hands dismissively, "Nevermind, I shouldn't be talking about that at four in the damn morning. But no, I didn't fuck if that's what you were insinuating." Steve blinked quickly in confusion, shaking his head. " What, you think I lured him under some guise?" Granted, it was how they had sex, but it was neither here nor there.

Crossing his arms over his massive chest, he glared, "It was easy to do with me, huh?" 

"Fuck you, Rogers!" She grabbed him by the arm, pushing him out the door, and slamming it in his face. Shaking her head, she was too angry at Steve to go back to sleep.


	5. A Movie and Dinner

Steve nodded his head as Bucky told him of his and Morphine's plans for the day, Morphine was on her way there, and he really wanted to apologize for his accusations last night. He knew how Morphine was at times, even though they hadn't seen each other in a while. "I'm glad you're going out, Buck." Steve said. Bucky nodded with a small smile, then turned towards the door when there was a knock. Sam, who was sitting on the couch watching a game of football, turned to them, "One of y'all gonna get that?" 

Steve went to answer the door, there Morphine stood with dark shades covering her eyes. "Hi, Morphine." He said, smiling at her. She didn't return the smile, lazily waving. "Is Buck ready?" She simply said. Opening the door wider for her to come in, she nonchalantly strutted inside. 

"So, um, about last night," Steve said. "I just want to apologize for the way that I treated you. I stepped out of line, and shouldn't have accused you." She nodded at his apology, letting him know that she accepted it.

"Thank you for acknowledging that, Steve."

"Are you two really doing this?" Steve asked, shocked that Morphine was finally coming out of her apartment, and she was doing so with Bucky - who also hadn't felt like leaving the apartment in a while. 

"Yep," Morphine assured while leaning against the wall. Bucky walked past a smirking Sam and a wide-eyed Steve with his bag slung over his shoulder. 

"We're going to see a movie." He told Steve. Steve pursed his lips, nodding his head at Morphine, "You're wearing that to see a movie...?" He asked her gesturing to her leather jacket, leather pants, and heels. She had a tank top on underneath, movie theaters get kind of cold sometimes.

"Yep." She pushed her sunglasses on her head with a smirk. Sam took this time look her up and down. 

"Damn, girl!" Sam exclaimed. Morphine chuckle as she grabbed Bucky's flesh arm.

"Have fun, I guess. Sam and I'll be waiting." The two left, without a word to the two men. 

Walking outside, Bucky came up to Steve's car as Morphine walked past it, going to a cherry red sports car.   
"That thing yours?" Bucky asked her. She nodded.

"A gift from Tony."

Bucky nodded and rolled his eyes upward, "Of course, that guy's got more money than he's got-,"

"Hey!" Morphine interrupted. "We're all being nice now, chill."

" 

"So, what are you in the mood for, something scary or funny?" She asked him as they got into the car, and drove off 

"So, what are you in the mood for, something scary or funny?" She asked him as they got into the car, and drove off.

"I'd probably pick funny, if you don't mind." He told her. She nodded. 

"C'mon, hop in. I think you'd love Girls Trip." They got into her car, and sped off.

***

"That was better than I thought it'd be." Bucky said with a chuckle as they both walked out of the theater, and to the concession area. The humor was a little risqué, but it made him clutch his sides.

"Honestly, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!" Morphine exclaimed. 

"But the grapefruit thing, do people really do that?" He pandered. Morphine laughed, "I'm not even sure. It'd probably burn like in the movie." Sighing, her stomach growled. "All that laughing made me hungry, you want something to eat?"

"Sure." he said.

They decided on driving to her favorite Indian restaurant, Silk Tiger. She told Bucky about her finding this place when she decided she was tired of Chinese and Pizza. "Honestly, the food here is to die for." He told her to order for him since she knew the food so well, and she obliged. For herself, Morphine ordered Chicken Tikka Masala, and for him, she ordered Tandoori Chicken. They sat and talked as they waited for their food to arrive, getting to know each other.

"Yeah, Steve was a troublemaker, it was like he couldn't help himself." Bucky said while shaking his head, Morphine giggled as she pictured Steve small and skinny trying to fight someone twice his size.

"When I first met him, he just had this boy scout feel to him." She said causing Bucky to laugh wholeheartedly. 

"I see how you'd think that. I can picture that punk being a boy scout." They both laughed. 

"What about you? Were you a troublemaker too?" She asked him, he rubbed his scruffy chin with a slight chuckle. 

"I remember being too busy fighting most of Steve's battles to start trouble on my own." He said with a shrug.

"Well, Steve's lucky to have a friend that has his back." She told him.

Once their food came, they dug in, and continued to talk. "Are there things that you remember from your past?" Bucky asked. 

"Remember? Not a lot, I've read files of my past. Journal passages from the 1600's, medical documents. But after leaving the hospital, I remember not being able to control my powers. Always on the run after hurting someone. Then I found a job as a bartender at, right after that I got a place. I was alone with no friends or family. Then Nick comes and brands me an avenger." She finished with a laugh. Bucky listened intently and smiled at her. 

"So you've been walking about in the 1600's, huh?" He asked, leaning back in his seat, and widening his legs to show that he was opening up and being comfortable. 

"Much longer, actually." She said. "But all of my wisdom, all of my knowledge of the world is gone now."

Bucky looked away sadly, Morphine realized that he probably thought that she was blaming him. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. I know it's not your fault, I just - fuck!" She exclaimed. 

"It's alright, HYDRA's made us both victims. I wouldn't even fault you if you blamed me." He said with a sad smile. 

"Jesus, Bucky. I don't blame you." She said while sighing, "let's just...talk about something else, yeah?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"So how long have you been staying with Steve?" She asked. 

He scrunched up his face in a thinking expression. "About a year, I'm not set on living at the compound yet."

"I feel you, I need my space after the past years." He nodded in understanding, he wanted to ask what happened, but didn't want to impose. He decided to ask another question. 

"How long have you and Steve been..." Morphine raised her brow.

"Excuse me?" She said.

"You know, shacking up?"

"Wow, 'shacking up'? You really are old." She said throwing her arms up. "Did Steve tell you about us?" 

"I heard you two last night when I was leaving, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He told her. 

Morphine sighed, "It wasn't even that long to be honest, we had sex the first month I became an avenger. It ended as quick as it started." 

"Why'd it end between you two?" He asked genuinely. 

Morphine blinked, thinking back to that time. "Well, I really liked Steve, but he wanted us to be professionals and I thought of him as this goody two shoes...at the time. Maybe I just wanted sex, and he knew that." She trailed off. Was it for the better that she and Steve didn't progress into something more, would she have been happier? What about Loki, if they had never met would her life be different? Her thoughts went wild as she noticed he was saying something. "I'm sorry, what?" 

"I said, we don't have to talk about it if it's an uncomfortable subject." He said, and she nodded. 

They began to finish up their food, and head out. Morphine took Bucky back to Steve's, they said their goodbyes. Bucky walked into the apartment, and was meet with Steve and Sam's curious glances. 

"So how was your date?" Sam asked. 

"Sam." Steve said sternly. 

He held his hands up in surrender. "It wasn't a date." Bucky said, tossing his bag on the couch, and sitting down next to Steve. "But I had fun."

"That's um, that's great Buck." Steve said.


	6. First Impressions

Morphine woke up feeling somewhat better, at least better than she's felt in months. Getting up, she put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. She turned on some music, dancing her way into the living room.

Dancing sensually to Beyonce's Hold Up.

♫Hold up, they don't love you like I love you

Slow down, they don't love you like I love you

Back up, they don't love you like I love you

Step down, they don't love you like I love you

Can't you see there's no other man above you?♫ 

Can't you see there's no other man above you?♫ 

"Nice moves," She heard. Turning towards her kitchen, Steve was sitting at her island. Before she could ask how he got in, he beat her to it. "The door was unlocked." She nodded at his answer.

"How long have you been here?" She asked him. 

"Long enough to see you dancing." He said with a chuckle, looking down. "Honestly, no longer than ten minutes."

"Is something wrong?" She asked him.

"Uh, no. I actually just wanted to talk. See if we were still okay?" She nodded. 

"Yeah, I guess." She said. "You apologized, and I accepted. We're okay." 

Steve nodded, "Listen, Morph, I know you and Buck are starting to open up to each other, and I think that's great. Just...don't hurt him."

"Excuse me? Don't hurt him? What do you think is going on, Steven?" She sneered.

"I'm not accusing you of going after Bucky, I mean, we've established that." He told her, then sighed. "God, Morphine, I'm trying to be a good friend. He's my best friend, and you're my..."

"Casual hookup turned friend, I get it. You're jealous that I'm stealing your boyfriend away from you." She joked with a smirk and a shrug.

Shaking his head, Steve chuckled. 

"Hey, we're thinking of getting lunch if you wanted to go." He offered. 

Morphine raised an eyebrow, "do you want me to go, Steve?" She asked. 

"Yeah, I mean, everyone barely sees you." He told her, crossing his arms. She shrugged. 

"No one wants a depressed girl hanging around." She said sadly. 

"Morphine, talk to me. What's going on?" He asked. 

"Loki and I -," 

"Hey man, we're hungry out here!" Sam said, barging into Morphine's apartment. Bucky was behind him, leaning against the wall in the hall. "You coming with us, Morph?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just let me get my things." She said grabbing her bag. "Ok, I'm ready." They all went out, and she locked the door behind her. 

They got into Steve's car, squeezing into the car with the three big men. They talked about things while engaging Morphine into their conversation. Stopping in front of a cafe, the four got out, and were escorted to a table inside. They all talked about random things, and told stories of their first time meeting and first impressions of each other. 

"You know, when I first met you, Morph, I thought you were cute and feisty." Sam said, nudging her playfully. She feigned a blush. 

"You're too sweet, Samuel."she said, nudging him back. "You're just as sweet as the first time I met you."

Steve looked between the two, figuring out if they were being playful, or if they had a fling as well. He then told himself he was being silly. Morphine could flirt with whoever she wanted, he was slowly working things out with Sharon. They then asked him about his first impression of everyone, he blushed, and only told the PG version of his first impression of Morphine. Then telling his first impression of Sam and Bucky. 

Sam rolled his eyes at Steve's impression of him. "Come on, man, nice? Not even incredibly smart and handsome?"

Steve chucked, "Yep, those too." But nothing beats Morphine and Bucky's first impressions. 

When she had got back to midgard, she was still angry and miserable, and Steve and Tony's shenanigans were making her angrier. 

When she had came over to visit Steve, she didn't know that he had Bucky staying with him. She walked into his apartment without knocking, and saw Bucky sitting on the couch. He stood up abruptly, pulling a gun out of his back pocket she had assumed. He glared at her, pointing the gun in her direction like she was some criminal. 

"Who the hell are you?" He growled. He didn't take any chances trusting anyone anymore.

He didn't take any chances trusting anyone anymore 

Morphine growled back, pointing her finger at him. "Who the hell are you?!" The two had a stare-off before Steve came in behind Morphine with Sam following behind, they had confused looks towards the two. 

"Uh...Did we miss something?" Sam asked. 

Steve stood between the two"Morph, this is Bucky... Bucky, this is Morphine. We're all friends here." He introduced. He turned to Bucky, "This is the girl I was telling you about."

Bucky stared at the girl, thinking she looked familiar, but he could've seen her in passing. He gave her a once over, and gave her an apologetic look. Morphine gave a dismissive wave, and rolled her eyes. Bucky put the gun down, embarrassed of his behavior. He knew Sam would joke about this later. 

After enjoying they're lunch, the four decided to head out to go home. Steve had taken Morphine home first, at her request. Steve offered to walk her up to her apartment, but she declined, and said goodbye to the three men. Walking up to her door, she heard heavy footsteps behind her as she approached the door, slowly turning around to see that it was Bucky walking behind her. 

"I thought you were quieter than that." She teased, leaning on the door with a smirk.

He shrugged, "I wanted to make myself known." Rubbing his hand through his hair, he watched as she watched him. 

"Well?" She asked, "Did Steve send you to make sure I get in safely?"

"Actually, I told him to go ahead without me. I wanted to...talk again." He admitted. Morphine was flattered. 

"You wanna talk?" He nodded. "Come in." She unlocked the door, and they walked in. She turned on the lights, dropping her purse on her counter, then leading him into the living room. They sat awkwardly staying ahead for a beat. Then she broke the silence. 

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked.


	7. Letting it out

Weeks passed with Morphine now becoming semi-comfortable around everyone now. She'd go to the compound to hang out with Wanda and Natasha before going home to listen to music and watch Netflix. Most days she'd go to Steve's to hang out with him, Sam, and Bucky. Bucky would go over to Morphine's to binge on Netflix shows together, and getting to know each other more; talking about likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, and so forth. She even told him about getting into meditation. It was an otherworldly experience that Loki had introduced to her, sometimes her spirit would connect with her mother, other times it'd connect with her father and she'd immediately disconnect.

She still hadn't told anyone about losing Auburn, and Loki leaving her. Bucky wanted to know about her personal life, he had told her about his upbringing, meeting Steve, enlisting in the war, and falling from the train. He had relived those moments as he confided in Morphine, she comforted him. He respected that she needed to time to heal, but it wouldn't hurt to let it out.

Bucky cleared his throat, interrupting Tastey's speech on Orange is the New Black, "Can I ask you something". Morphine paused the show, "Sure." she said.

"It's about...Loki?" Morphine sat frozen in shock. Were the others asking about Loki behind her back?

"Wh-what about him?" she asked, not looking in his direction.

"Well, this guy is all Steve talks about when it comes to you. Said the guy was bad news the moment he laid eyes on him." Bucky said.

Morphine shook her head with a humorless laugh, tears brimming her eyes and threatening to fall. She wouldn't let them fall again, not this time. "He...uh, he was my husband...ex-husband now."

Bucky looked at her with a shocked expression, "You got hitched?" Despite the subject of her failed marriage, and loss, she chuckled. His expression was very funny and cute, and she couldn't help herself.

"Yeah...but Steve was right...Loki was bad news. Even I knew, but I still fell in love with him. He went through a lot of shit with his dad, even with his brother, Thor. Thor wanted what was best for him, but they would always butt heads." Morphine started as Bucky listened intently.

"He fought hard, and he loved even harder. When we met, we were an unlikely pair, I'm a fire demon-elf hybrid, and he's a frost giant. Two species that just don't mix had fallen in love...then we had a baby."

"She was beautiful, she had green eyes just like Loki, and I fell in love with her. She made all of the shit that we went through worth it." Morphine said with another humorless laugh. "But that all came to an end. My baby girl died, Bucky. She went through a lot of complications because of her being a hybrid of Loki and I's species. Her temperature would drop, then rise, and her powers would get out of control. They were so out of control that she burned out. She died in front of us, and we didn't know how to handle it." Morphine didn't know she was crying until Bucky wiped the tears away.

"Morphine, I-"

"Loki left me...he left me alone at the worst time of my life. I-I needed...I needed him." She whispered the last part, letting the tears fall freely.

 

***

Morphine thought she could handle talking about Loki and Auburn, but she was breaking down. She realized she wasn't as strong as she thought she was. Leaning against the wall, she let the tears fall.

Bucky didn't know what he said wrong, but he knew he needed to comfort her. He watched her run to her room, after they were talking about her ex husband and their late daughter. He wanted to comfort her, so he went into her room. Quietly, he looked around. He heard her shower running and light sobs. Opening the door, he saw her silhouette behind the shower curtain.

"Morphine?" He called out.  
Desperately trying to hold the tears back, she tried to answer him, but it came out broken.

"Bu-ucky..."

"Are you okay?" He asked genuinely.

"No," she said, deciding she wasn't going to hold it in anymore. "I need you to hold me, Buck, please." Hearing her beg like that you're at his heart.

He took slow steady steps towards the shower, as if this was a mission. It was a special type of mission; comforting someone who became a person he was starting to open up to and trust. How could he comfort her when he needed to be comforted as well.

"O-Okay." He murmured, stripping out of his clothes, heart racing as he pulled off each article of clothing. Once he was naked, he pulled back the curtain, Morphine was leaned against the wall with tears down her face and red eyes. He glanced down at her exposed body, not getting to revel in her beauty because she was a crying mess in front of him. He stepped in and reached out to her, pulling her into an embrace.

Bucky wrapped his arms around Morphine as she sobbed into his shoulder  
Bucky wrapped his arms around Morphine as she sobbed into his shoulder. He caressed her hair gently, shushing her, telling her that everything would be fine. The hot water sprayed across her back, and she was slowly starting to calm down. She wrapped her arms around him as well. They held each other for what felt like centuries before the water got cold.

"Come on, let's get out." He said, lifting her up bridal style, and getting out of her tub. Silently, she she put her arms around his neck as he carried her to her bedroom. He put her down on her bed gently before turning quickly to get a towel. She got a quick view of his taut ass as he left. When he came back, he had a towel wrapped around his waist loosely. He tossed a towel at her.

"You don't wanna get your bed wet." He said. Maybe I do, with you. She thought, quickly getting those thoughts out of her head. She was thinking impulsively, Bucky was just being nice and helping her. He was her friend. She shouldn't just jump on the first man that didn't put her on a pedestal of strength. Thinking about things like that could lead to trouble. Big trouble. She thought after getting a glimpse of Bucky's body. Wrapping the towel around her body, Morphine quietly thanked him. He nodded, standing there awkwardly.

"You can leave if you want, I'll be fine. Promise." She told him.

"I'm staying to make sure you're alright, doll." She nodded, laying down. Bucky lay beside her, and they both stared at the ceiling.

They lay in awkward silence before Morphine broke it. "I don't like crying in front of people. Everyone sees me as this strong girl who doesn't have a care in the world, but I had to bottle up my emotions in fear of losing control of my powers."

He turned to face her, "If you ever feel like you have to bottle up everything or that you can't talk to anyone, just know that you have me. Okay?" She nodded, looking into his kind eyes. Knowing that behind this eyes was a man who suffered through pain and loss.

"Get some sleep." She went up to get under her blanket, Bucky followed behind her. They had both faced the opposite direction from each other, and falling asleep.


End file.
